My grandmother passed a little over a week ago now. It’s been a long battle of illness for her and a long month for my family. It’s funny so much happened in the month of November, I am unsure how I could feel so many emotions… From the start let’s be honest, I had an after-halloween-glow or a sugar high (thanks kids for all the candy), to going all GOLD-delicious for my best friend’s 30th birthday, to celebrating my love and shining armor aka Danny’s birthday… to the dazed-fog of the post election madness… to my sweet Grandma MaryAnn, fighting for her life and passing in her daughter’s arms.
When faced with grief, I never know what to actual do. I am prone to over-think it and need reminding that I have freedom. Grief is a process and I think for me, the past week and a half has been slow and steady. My days have been pretty routine – two little kids, some diapers, potty songs and naps. But so much more was going on in my heart. My grandma was one of the strongest ladies around… hence I know God knew I needed to be her Granddaughter.
Grandma Mary had a really hard childhood, she was bounced around numerous foster-care homes and was almost adopted but last minute her Mother got it together and took her back. She had a short yet hard childhood then gave birth to my mom at age 18. She raised her and did exceptional job, my mom is amazing. One of the vivid memories I have of my Grandma, was her sharing with me her love of Princess Diana. I remember learning a wealth of facts about her and the royal family and I remember her telling me, ‘Brandi you are my princess, and I am the queen’. Grandma never got to live like royalty but when I think of all the trials and grief she faced, I know she is wearing a crown now with a lot of diamonds in it.
My grandma’s life shines in this dark world. Grandma grew up not knowing her birth-father but searched for him and left behind a book of all the details as to how she found him. Grandma Mary Ann was lead to Christ by her first husband’s second wife… yes this is redemption and beauty. She and my step-grandmother are remarkable, loving each other and were good friends. They shared their grandchildren so beautifully, their relationship gives me so much hope that the unconventional parts of our tribe will strengthen my children. This Thanksgiving, I am so thankful to get to go home and be with family to celebrate this beautiful grandma. I am thankful that adoption and love are in the deep roots of my family’s soil and I am most thankful that Grandma MaryAnn finally has her crown, that she is no longer in pain and that my children can keep living the legacy of such a strong lady!