So, life happens. But really, every day should be Mother’s day right? Lol – well for the brave Birth-mom of this tribe it should… Mama T came to visit back in May. After Mama T left, her 16 year old brother had a stroke and passed away. The gravity of her current grief is unfathomable. She is still going to college and working but prayer is so needed. If you want to leave her an encouraging word I will be sure to pass it along. Thank you. However, before tragedy struck she’d been working on this blog post. Here are Mama T’s reflections on her visit.
“Coming to visit is always a double edged sword. I can’t wait to come but I know I am going to have to leave. But when I am with our sweet girl it’s my happy place, all my personal problems fade to the background. It’s hard to explain what it feels like to see Vera-lou but when I see her it’s crazy to see someone that is apart of me, she was in me but is walking, talking and loving the people around her. I am extremely proud of who she is but saddened by all I miss.
I love being able to meet people who know Vera-lou and hearing them say, ‘we have the same personality’ or they know where Lou-lou get’s her ‘good looks’. But at the same time it’s hard to see her have strong relationships with so many people, when I want to be the person that she loves most. It makes me proud to see Vera-lou be such an amazing older sister to her new baby brother. It helps being adopted myself and knowing the bond I have with all my siblings. It was nice to have Lenox around and be so young because I missed Vera-lou at that age and sometimes I even looked at him and thought, oh you look just like Vera-lou’, I know, I am crazy. But the love Brandi and Danny have for their kids is more than I’ve seen before. So sometimes I forget she’s not their blood but then ten seconds later I see her hair and remember she’s has my DNA, so that’s what makes her, ours.
Playing with Vera-lou is the word, ‘amazing’ on repeat. She makes me do the same thing maybe 30 times but each time it is still just as cute. I enjoyed seeing Vera-lou show her true toddler ways and had never seen parents give a kid such clear boundaries. There were lots of times, I wanted to go against what Brandi or Danny had asked of Vera-lou to do but when I saw them say, ‘no’ and I saw her trust them, I admired my own 2 year old daughter. And was reminded of why we’re all meant to be together.
The love I have for this tribe is real and the only times I don’t feel apart of things is when I let my own pain and grief get in the way. Can y’all please keep me in your prayers, I want the strength to keep being apart of Vera-lou’s life because sometimes I feel so weak that I want to exit myself out of it. But I know that only makes things harder.”
Having Mama T, here for Mother’s Day was really full circle for me. I am so thankful to all the mothers in my life but always think of my own birth-mom on the big day. It was really healing to see Vera-lou with Mama T. I am so thankful, Lou had the chance to celebrate her birth-mom and make memories. She talks about her a lot now, which is so special. She loves to say “I in tasha’s belly”– in response to seeing pregnant ladies. I also loved how Mama T, brought Vera-lou pictures of herself at her age to look at or how much they really do look and act alike. It was so special, how she loved Lenox and considers him, her own. It was so humbling, how our community and family chose to take part in the visit— They host her, took ventures with us and thanked Mama T for sharing our girl. We love that these special visits give Mama T, a chance to see how loved Vera-lou is and what her life really looks like. We are both her Mom, and that is worth celebrating everyday.