So…. we are having another baby! Yes, at the current moment-this time inside me… not causing too much of a ruckus. Although Vera-lou’s sibling is making me into a complete grandma with high maintenance sleep needs, some hungry pangs and frequent visits to the bathroom, my life has stayed pretty normal.
It’s funny, since I was around age four and saw my mom pregnant with my brother, I’ve always wanted a baby in my belly… and then as you’ve might be aware , if you frequent this blog – desires change and I was blessed with a wild, beautiful and passion filled entrance into motherhood– thanks adoption.
This next step, mama of two, has been different for me. I am excited -don’t get me wrong and think about this little soul often. I love the kid already… But it’s just been hard for me to talk about. I think when I was paper pregnant, I so badly wanted everyone to understand what it felt like. What was going on in me internally and what the process was doing to my heart. But a lot of people were hesitant, others did rally don’t get me wrong but some were just concerned and felt it their duty to voice their concerns. This may sound trite but when I tell people I am pregnant, I’ve had a range of reactions… tears, jumping and sometimes the, “…oh good! I wasn’t sure if you guys were going to be able to have babies”. Listen people… we CHOOSE to adopt, why? – because I am adopted, because we don’t see adoption as second best it’s the real deal. These reactions annoy me and also break my heart for those who do struggle with infertility and then come to adoption. My desire is to tell everyone, please be this excited for EVERYONE… they are growing their family, their love and their lives. Instead of asking about the cost or the possible, ‘what if’s’… be excited… as excited as you are for the baby in my belly. (next time I tell you we’re adopting, jumping and tears are encouraged and appreciated!)
So the baby in my belly. We are so excited… Vera-lou loves babies and thankfully I’ve been babysitting some younger ones for a while. She loves when they fall asleep and she gets to say, “Shh” with her little finger to her mouth. She is bound to be an awesome big sister. We’ve told Vera-lou’s birthparents, they are both excited for us. Vera-lou’s brave and courageous birth-mother, started crying when I told her… happy tears (thanks facetime). This was a huge thing for me, it spoke so much of the mystery of the love we have for each other. She cannot wait for Vera-lou to be a big sister and through her tears told me she loves all four of us, so much! She is apart of the tribe and can’t wait to meet her new family member.
This new family member of ours is going to be half Korean, and along with that – carry the adoptive history of its mama.. I gotta pull the honest card here… I am nervous, excited and ecstatic to finally meet someone with half of my biological make up. Pregnancy has brought up a whole range of emotions as it tends to do, poor Danny. But it’s really highlighted this little gift I am going to get. I still desire to meet my birth-parents but for now a little before Christmas, I will meet someone who shares some of my DNA. It’s gonna blow my mind and my heart I am sure. I am so thankful… So… if you are up for it I’ll probably blog though some of this process too… a little different from our last journey but we still have the same characters in the story, just adding a very special half-Korean to this little tribe 🙂
Every year on our dating anniversary, we go to an arcade and take photos at a photo booth. They have sadly replaced it with an awful digital one… so we had our amazing TIA help us with some tag team family photos! Photo credit: the amazing Maria Connie-Louisa aka the best God mama…