Meeting Birth-mom was completely wonderful and completely heart wrenching at the same time. Taking in all the information at once was a lot for us. Sorry it’s taken us a bit to actually sit and write it all out.
So we met Birth-mom at the mall, we got there early and it was definitely worse than waiting to sit on Santa’s lap as a kiddo. When she finally got there, she walked up and it was totally natural, she’s beautiful… did I mention that? We hugged and Birth-mom’s mother was with her as well. We started walking in the mall because we had an appointment to get our nails done!
Birth-mom and I got our nails done, while Danny sat out and talked to birth-mom’s mother (sorry so many mothers). Birth-mom and I had such a great conversation, laughing talking about ourselves and dreaming about our “maybe” daughter together. She remembered I loved pie and listening to her was captivating. She is so STRONG, the girl has a birth-plan and she knows that our God is going to take care of her afterward. She isn’t fearful at all and she has more faith than I do.
There are so many heart-breaking parts to the story…for instance she is in complete hiding. Not going out so she doesn’t see anyone. She was so nervous as we hung out, looking around to make sure we didn’t know anyone. I thought it was hard not having a giant belly to explain to people I was having a baby, but this lady is afraid of people finding out she’s having a baby. She won’t ever get to celebrate her ability to give birth, no shower, no nothing.
Not to mention we learned more about her adoption-story and lets just say birth-mom’s life is a complete miracle, so the little lady inside her belly is also. It really was this wonderful time together, manicures- pedicures, birth-plans, even a little photo-shoot for her, stories shared and dreams for a little life that we’ll “maybe” have the honor of being apart of.
So like the title it was is a beautiful roller coaster. In the moment we were completely overjoyed to get to be with such a powerful lady but afterward we have been stuck with the great loss this beautiful young girl will and has been experiencing. But as our paper doula reminded us as we tearfully talked to her, this is the gospel… This is adoption.. It totally doesn’t make human- sense that God would sacrifice his only son for us to be adopted into his family. So we rest as the good Lord makes beautiful things out our chaos.
–Please pray for Birth-mom as she prepares for the birth, that it will goes smoothly. She won’t be afraid. That her and baby are healthy
–Pray for us as we try to process this HUGE thing and that we can out love and out serve birth-mom in this time.
–Pray for Birth-dad, he knows everything is going on but birth mom wants to protect him.
Hopefully our next update is about a little life.
We love you all.